Tuesday, 29 September 2015

New and Scary

Hi everyone! It was my last day of high school today. It feels so strange. Finishing high school means graduation, and applying to college, and moving out, and all these new and scary things. When I have to deal with new and scary things, I write about them. So today I wrote about starting college. It's a story I actually would like to continue and maybe I do once I am in college and know what to write about.

Genre: drama?, original, contemporary
Rating: A
Warnings: -
Summary: The first day in university.
A/N: The main character is based on me and the application process, apartment-related stuff and college stuff are based on the Finnish system (or what I know about it so far).
- Finnish universities don't have their own campus areas but the buildings are located around the city.
- There are no dormitories or anything like that. You get an actual apartment in a regular building and take the regular city bus to school.
- We apply in the spring, get the results in the start of July and start college around August or Septemeber

I know next to nothing about college life or studies so I avoided any spesific descriptions. (The only one, about the welcoming thing in the auditorium, is a product of my imagination and I don't know if that happens really.)

I know it looks like a clichéd love story, but don't be fooled. Even I don't know yet what it is going to be (if anything) and I'm really not one for clichés so I suspect it will be something else.

***

On the last day of high school my friend told me: ”Soon you’ll be a hot college girl!” I laughed at her – college was still almost a year away, I hadn’t even applied yet. And though I had an intention to become a college girl, I didn’t very much care for being a hot one. In my friend’s opinion all college girls were hot. I wasn’t so sure.

I graduated in the autumn. In the spring I applied and in the summer I got the results: accepted to major in English. They had accepted only around 50 applicants to English.

I had to move to a new city. After the results I had two months before starting. I ended up moving alone, though I didn’t really want that, but even less I wanted to share the kitchen with five strange girls. My parents helped me move all my stuff from my room to my new one-room apartment. I moved in three days before college started.

And now here I am, on my first day. In the morning I text my friend: “Greetings from a hot college girl.” It’s her turn to laugh at me. I’m too scared to laugh.

I spent a great deal of time last night deciding what to wear, so that I wouldn’t have to panic in the morning. A good move. I’m not in any state to think, so I just grab the clothes waiting for me and put my hair up on a ponytail.

I’m pretty sure I look cute. At least I chose the clothes with that goal in mind. And cute equals confident, so when I step out of the street door of my apartment building, I don’t feel quite as sick as I otherwise would.

I have travelled the distance from my apartment to the university main building every day since my arrival. Also a good move. I get to the university in no time and with no memory of the bus ride. Finally, finally, I find myself among people who look exactly as lost and scared as I am.

“You shouldn’t forget to breathe”, I hear someone say behind me. I spin around and see a friendly-faced boy smiling at me. I stare.

“Breathe”, he advises again, cocking an eyebrow. I inhale deeply at the command. It feels like something is released at my chest and after that my breathing becomes much easier. I hadn’t even noticed I wasn’t breathing properly.

“That’s better”, he says, his smile not wavering a moment. I still stare.

“I’m Nick”, he offers. “If you’re already good enough to speak, what’s your name?”

“Ellie”, I breath. There doesn’t seem to be a single comprehensible word in my mind to say besides my name.

“Nice to meet you”, Nick smiles. “We live in the same building.”

“We do?”

“Yeah. Good to know a name for at least one neighbour, don’t you think?”

“Um… yeah.”

His expression changes a bit and it looks like he’s laughing inwardly. “You are so out of it, aren’t you? Did you sleep at all last night?”

I frown trying to remember. “I’m not sure. Maybe not. Probably a little. But I’m not out of it… I’m just nervous.”

“In the very least”, he says in a friendly tone. “It’s OK. It’s my first day too. We can get through it together and make sure both get home in the end of it.”

“That would be great.”

“It’s a deal”, he grins. He’s smiling all the time. I’m probably mindlessly staring all the time.

We fall into silence for a moment. “Why did you talk to me?” I ask curiously. Thanks to him, the sharpest edge of my nervousness has vanished and I can now actually think of something to say.

“I came out of the building right behind you and I watched you all the bus ride. You looked so tense, like you were moving on autopilot. It wasn’t hard to guess we had the same destination so I just made sure you got here OK. And then you just tensed up more. I was afraid you’d faint so I had to say something.”

I laugh weakly. “Well… thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Hey, I think they’re calling us in.”

We are indeed called in to a huge auditorium – all the new students of the university. There is the headmistress and she gives a speech that’s probably very good – at least it’s short – but I can’t pay attention. We’re sitting quite high and I’m busy inspecting the other students and wondering which of them will be majoring in English with me.

“Arts majors are so easy to spot”, Nick whispers to me at one point. He points out a few but it’s not like I need that. I was in a performing arts high school and know very well what an arts student looks like. I smile at him knowingly.

“What’s your major?” he asks, still whispering. “No, no, let me guess.” He takes up a moment to look at me from head to toe. I try to remember what I’m wearing. Oh yes, turquoise stockings, a black and white pleated skirt and a purple, loose t-shirt tucked into the skirt. My bag is brand new, leathery and I love it even more than the green one I had in high school. I had decorated its shoulder strap with dozens of pins and badges expressing my interests and beliefs. This new one doesn’t have any, because I don’t dare touch the beautiful leather surface.

“You major in architecture”, Nick says decisively after a moment. I gape at him.

“What drove you to that conclusion?!”

“You seem like the architect type! You have straight lines and matching colours and all that! So, what, you don’t?”

“No, I don’t.” I try to suppress my laugh. “English.”

“English? But you don’t look like an English student!”

“Shocking, not everyone fits the stereotype. And what’s an English major supposed to look like anyway?”

“They are the jeans and a t-shirt squad”, Nick answers immediately. As if he knows. He's as new here as I am.

“Well, most days I fit that description exceptionally well. What’s your major, then?”

“Take a guess”, he says and motions toward himself.

He is wearing blue jeans and sneakers. He has almost black, kind of wavy hair that is shorter on the sides. I’m almost sure he has glasses but is wearing contacts – he just has the look of an eyeglass person. And his t-shirt is white with some kind of colourful print I can’t make out in the dim light.

I lift my eyes to his. He’s grinning widely. “English too?” I suggest cautiously. He breaks to a full-on smile.

“Yes! I never thought I’d be so lucky that the first person I talk to majors in the same subject as me!”

I smile too.

***

My apartment is one floor up from the ground. When we come home with Nick, I stop abruptly in front of my door. He stops on the first stair.

“I live here”, I say rather unnecessarily.

“OK”, he says brightly. “I live two floors up. It’s a good workout if you run the stairs all the way.”

“Sure”, I say a bit awkwardly. “Um, thanks for today. We’ll probably see each other around.”

“Maybe we could take the bus together tomorrow too?” he asks.

“Yeah, sure.”

“I’ll come and ring your doorbell in the morning!”

“OK”, I say a bit confused by the quick turn of the conversation. “I like to be in time. So if you’re not here so that we can make it to the 8.35 bus, I’m leaving.”

“I’ll be there”, he smiles. “Bye then!”

“Bye.”

He turns and runs up. On the landing he looks at me, still smiling, and waves his hand.

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